>mom-mode post #108 – on losing the milk

November 11, 2010 § 3 Comments

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Alright friends, brace yourselves for perhaps the most over sharing I’ve ever done on this blog. I think I’m on a TMI kick these days. So be warned, faint-hearted, now is the time to quit reading!

It finally happened. The thing I feared the most as a nursing mother. My milk is gone. It happened seemingly overnight. Blindsided me, really. We got back from our US trip, dealing with the stress of jet lag and the trip. Next thing I know, my baby is acting hungrier and hungrier.
I did a lot of research and asked my friends that had gone through something similar before for tips on how to get my milk back. I thought it was just a phase and that things would go back to normal soon. But they didn’t.
Ultimately, the husband and I had a decision to make. He is always reminding me that although our goal is to do everything we can to take the best care of baby O, in the end we have to make the decision that is best for the well-being of the whole family. Not just mine, or O’s or the husband’s.
I could have tried a little longer, a little harder, I thought. But the stress of it all was taking a toll on me (and therefore affecting the well-being of my family). So we decided to stop. As we made this decision, I kept hearing the crowds of La Leche league consultants telling me not to give up, that it was too soon. Oh well. We don’t always get what we want, not matter how hard we may try.
O transitioned smoothly into a bottle. In fact he is even sleeping better. For I think my milk supply had decreased way before I had ever noticed. He is so busy exploring the world around him, that he as content as ever to be able to eat and look around at the same time.
I, on the other hand, am still mourning. Although not the most pleasant thing in the world in the beginning, I loved being so closed to my baby, sharing in that unique and precious bond that is breastfeeding. I was so thrilled to be able to nurse. My mom (and so many other women like her) although try hard as she did, she never got her milk in with any of us. I was so ecstatic that I was able to do it. I’m so sad it is over.
But I did it. Eight months of it. It counts, doesn’t it? (Please tell me it does)
So now what? Now we move on, confidently in the decision we made as a family. Watching O thrive as he busily crawls from corner to corner of our place, hurrying as to not to miss a thing. And I, hurry behind him, because I don’t want to miss a thing either

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§ 3 Responses to >mom-mode post #108 – on losing the milk

  • allison says:

    >You have absolutely done the right thing!!! Eight months of nursing is awesome!! I was only able to do seven and I too experienced the mourning you are referring to. Give it some time and you will see that the bottles can be really sweet for others to be invovled in feeding baby O. It will be tender moments between him and Daniel and a moment of rest for you. Eight months is fabulous!! Don't question it. O was able to get a lot of the immunity, etc he needed during that time, but ultimately if he wasn't getting enough then you had to switch. Our situation was exactly the same. Now he can play better, sleep better and develop better by receiving all the nutrition he needs. You are doing what is best for your family as a whole and you will see the benefits of the decision very soon. We love you guys. Thanks for sharing. Know that we are thinking of you.

  • Allison says:

    >thanks for being so transparent… and even thought i obviously have never had this problem seeing as i have no children (yet), i agree with what allison said. i think you're an awesome mom and you trilingual kid is so blessed. we miss you guys too – and maybe we'll see you soon!!!! ahh.

  • andiewade says:

    >you did awesome. I never figured nursing out with Rachel and I've always felt guilt from that. I nursed Lucas for 10 months and then felt guilty I didn't make it for 12 months. I think no matter what we do as mothers we'll make ourselves feel some form of guilt on not doing it like all the books we may have read or something. You're such a great mom to baby O!

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